An Appetite for Distrust/Shun

The roll-over of the wave of generations is soon complete, and we observe the grit and silt dragged up somehow has avoided the latest generation until the last point of maturity. Where previous generations have dealt with the lies of television and hollywood, to find that dystopia is the inevitable work in progress, the deepest betrayal is currently etching into the children and younger adults of today.

The understanding that they, like we, have been mis-sold PPI I mean an illusion of selfhood somehow equalling success.

In the fevered dreams of marketers, the selling of an idea of self-marketting is like finding the cash-cow that milks itself. Personality, the empty calorie of culture, is the property being sold to thousands and BILLIONS to those who lack emotional connection to others in simulation of a community. We have been fish that swim, and now we are all finding eachother caught on the net.

Problem is, only those who are sought out are being told they can be anything, and will do almost anything to remain in their provident niche.

Why we have become this is a matter of light pattern stimulated habits, albeit a long-story with vanished news articles. I will pre-qualify this by stating I will try to prove my reasoning. Until I can I will leave that stone unturned. For now.

Trash talk is the language of the internet, you may think that it is english, but all I see is sloganised emotivity and memes. When we take a measure of the average frenetic linguistics of our keyboard bashing contemporaries (it was hard to think of a kind word for them), we see a tenacity to win any argument inversely proportioned with the ability to form  reasoned,  well structured arguments. While this is nothing new and has been happening since the dawn of Tabloids, we do see a more personal hint of corrosivity; A need to wage vendetta on a qwerty-outlined, unemotional wall with all the impressionability of a formica worktop.

Where then, does this corrosion proceed?

A generation of orphaned cubicle-kids, who in their viable lives with unviable futures find a hint of things that scares them, insecurity. Show me any human who cannot guarrantee their futre and you will see a cut-throat in the making, and we are making a nation of them. Why this is the case I may only speculate, but we must secure this season against the tides of endemic uncertainty.

More to follow..

Real Foundations for Virtual Business.

Been a  while since I posted last, bless you for coming back to read 😛 I suppose I had better describe my surroudings to allow you a mental view of my cosy settings. I am at the very least, warm, I have been keen on this given the weather, refrigerator-quality biting cold and spatters of ice water do no make for an inviting walk. I do not remember from childhood such unnatural cold, the vapour temperature tended to be analagous to air temperature in some way. Similarly, it is been a long time since I have seen a bright, eye-aching clear sky. Pollution I suppose is to blame, of one kind of another. I pray for the man made cataracts on the lens of earth to be removed.

So on a tangent, I left you bereft of my circumstance, a different coffee shop, related in part to my own employment by ownership. Dwelling deep in a private corner, musing on past actions and choice, you could spot me a mile off. Tablet, phone and keyboard in front of a small latte. Bearded and long haired, sporting a star wars top and feverishly tapping away at keys. I’d pass for hipster with a single tie-die item or woolen hat, perhaps I should sport a manbun/topknot affair, but then I’d be hipster in a KNOWING way, like I was being IRONIC, which would spin me off the deep end of fatuousness.

Still! that’s enough about my circumstance, at least my current coffee taking.I am looking at a screen, writing in what will soon be a three year old blog (as Wren Rock, I have posted as other things but that doesn’t apply here).

Reviewing my recent history, I have designed, created, invested and turned my mind to many an ulterior distraction all with the aims of achieving my bid to realise Wren Rock’s true foudation. A solid foothold with an intellectual property I am applying for the Patent of as soon  as possible. It is the beginning of a program of events wherein I hope to achieve many an invention, each aimed at advancing the state of music technology as a whole. This is for no other intention than to serve a sphere of culture and innovation that has brought me solace and  great friends. We each flow by our beats and harmonies, the more beautiful the friend, the more beautiful the music they love.
I am enraptured of, and serve beauty. There is room for a little ugly, funky and rocky kinda music in there, but you know, we all need grit in our picnics sometimes. 🙂

On my 33 birthday WrenRock.org will be 3 years old, it has been twisting and relegating to my least uses. However it will be growing I assure you. From selling my VST software *due this year* and various music I have made. You’ll see a lot more of Wren Rock in 2017 ;P

Out of sight.

I find myself in the post late-brunch reverie that can only described as creatively alluring, a small gap of satiated thinking which causes me desire to share with you my writing. It has been a good two days, maybe not a traditional recovery of self from illness (read flu->chest infection over a fortnight), I was treated to the best of generosity and good times from friends from across the board.
And the best thing was, the more tired I got, the more determined I was to not let people down. Maybe it was the drunkeness, but I think it was more primal, I need my fellow humans.

That is a profound statement, being suspected of having suffered minor layers of depersonalisation and definitely being mysanthropic in my outlook.

The idea that I, as an entity, needed others was as incidental and passing as a breeze. Besides wanting a romantic partner, I had little use for socialising in the past. I did like people, obviously, but I didn’t need to form groups to get around and get by. I considered myself more of a cat type personality: If you’re my friend, I won’t chase you around, but when I see you it’ll be like no time has passed and it will be as always.
If you find that difficult, imagine assuming the worst in people, and only hanging onto those who prove themselves. It’s a self-defence and kind of quality control. It avoids disappointments, treachery and many other forms of social dickery.

But here I say it now, I believe something has come a little loose.

Forgive me if it seems obvious, but those people whom I have claimed as friends are still my friends even when I do not see them, and may still need me. It’s not about anything other that growing in the bonds that I know to be true. This weekend has been a carousel of incidental, and planned revelry that has completely overtaken my plans AND I LOVED IT.

I was not simply brought onboard, I was needed, it felt good.

At this point, out of sight does not mean out of mind when it comes to my friends.

That said, this weekend was OUT OF SIGHT.
P.S. I apologise for the apparent mushiness of this blog post, more stern and stoic blog posts to come in the future 😛

Become your Everest.

So it seems I blog better over a breakfast, I like this. It has a sense of routine that I find comforting, a measure of character more than time-keeping. While the last blog post was moreso in the morning time, and thusly  abrupt in my noticing of the vagueries of the world? This time I feel this evening brunch has left me in more of  a mellow disposition.

I look toward the monthly horizon in the same way so many seem to see the coming of the new year, and here is the problem I can see. There is a marrying of a sense of achievement to MAKING the  decision, rather than finishing what is begun. Catharsis in facing the problem and a sense of rightness.

While this is certainly an important step, it is THEN the process one wishes to engage, that must guide the way forward.

I long ago discovered that “New Year Resolutions” held as much weight as an anorexic gnat. It was in 1996, possibly it was ’98. I think I tried to the same resolution twice and in that reinforcement I understood something. If I wanted to learn my piano skills then that was a matter of telling myself something, and then resuming my old life after a month of novelty. Which is largely what becomes of these new year ideas.

There is one viable and useful method for growing your ability and scope on life. Expand on what you DO.
Remember, life is largely built on a series of comfortable habits we create to get by, with associations of appropriateness, anything not born from within this matrix of your life becomes relatively inauthentic.
Like anything that is fake, it may be nice, it may even be awesome to look at for a while. But the truth of the matter is that it is fake to you and, thusly, does not belong. Rejection is the end result.
Formative experiences mean that the things we are comfortable with are tied to survival and social instincts that mean our sense of appropriateness is effectively tied to fight and flight responses. If someone is actively discouraged from learning, say their mother tongue from early childhood, they will find that a strong indicator through fear or courage to take that challenge or run from it.
I personally found that my learning any form of performance was definitely frowned on from familial and social circles. Along with some self-derived  condemnations, it took me a while to even get to grips with music. I also found myself rejecting formal music education as well, not merely wanting to learn “how to play someone else’s music” The fear of every seedling composer 🙂

As result I pursued a path of composition that was as personal a means to me as possible. In the art of electronic music (or, indeed, any art), one is master unto oneself. As long as one has a medium-grade software able to process the user’s commands, the only limitation on the artist becomes the artists imagination and skill, a composer can summon forth soundscapes of great beauty and wonder.
This was immensely desirable to me, to bring feelings to others they had never previous dreamed of, to finally have my own art as I wanted to pursue it.
I loved Electronica and synth rock, and now I was able to master my own domain using my own taste, skill and discipline, all the validation of my personal appetites  came in one single artform. I loved it.

Herein lies the lesson, from my own neuroses and confirmation bias, I had decided what from the get go was acceptable in my daily habits. I had found my joy forming habits. Including writing. So I choose now to expand on this, and ME. Rather than to endlessly chase skills that ring empty in my regard. I am working on deconstructing my bias against forming habits I may find desirable in THEORY, but until then I see who I am and, I am happy to build on what is good already in my humble opinion. My monthly horizon is to build on my creative and personal habits that bring myself and others happiness, and it’s a climb each time.
I will never stop climbing.

Happy New Year to you from Wren Rock.

Programming itinerary (personal note)

Route to take for programming;

Create text input/output program.

Create file save function for above program.

Create cypher routine for encrypting text files.

Create advanced cypher routine for encrypting text AND files.

Create Clock with text display.

Create Clock with Graphic display.

Create simple Calculator, text input.

Create simple calculator, GUI input.

Create Dynamic memory assignation method for other programs. (Based on input)

Create dynamic memory deassignator/file backup (virtual memory device)

Part 2 (Audio)

Create Metronome (visual)

Create Sine wave player.

Create Wave player

Create Metronome with Sound

Create VST adaptation

Create Synch/Chron routine for metronome (midi syncronising)

Create Simple oscillator synth

Create A.D.S.R  routine for simple synth

T.B.C

 

A wee little announcement.

I would like to declare I will be launching a small project for release in the later portion of spring/summer. Às you may be aware I find myself in increasing lack of personal constraints and must focus my potential to reach the version of me I most desire. Creating pathways to event horizons determines the most likely route take, while not taking away free will, I will endeavour to pathwork my future more intensively in the coming months to realise what it is I genuinely seek. Awaken the Pougy 😀

Freestylers, a breakdown (of trust).

Now before I launch into this tirade I am deciding whether or not to restarting Scathing Praise, a pet project in which I gave the highs and lows of regular cultural contacts and experiences I came across.
As I am aware that this blog post may come across as a little harsh I ask you to keep in mind that this review is borne of personal experience, as opposed to personal opinions of anyone involved. This site is a professional exhibition of my work, but my experience that I am about to describe struck me at many levels including as a budding professional and passionate artist.

Now..
I am a big fan of ‘Old School’ Drum and Bass, breakbeat, funk and roots HipHop. I love most good examples of any genre, but I love to dance so you can see why I am led by beats in things 🙂

Freestylers are a musical bucket-list item for me since I first heard their album ‘Raw as Fuck’, and I still own that album in my archives even if the case has been cracked by being taken on holiday with me. So when I heard a big name from my personal music history of fandom were playing a local venue ON A NIGHT I MAGICALLY HAD OFF! Well you could register my love for the idea.
What I expected and what got were largely eclipsing concepts, as my money was taken and found myself at the upstairs venue of the financially troubled voodoo-lounge bar of Plymouth in Devon, U.K. The place was clean, largely, except for the slick floor that caused myself and at least one other person I saw to fall flat on their ass. Not cool, but there were signs up and the staff were trying.

The night was reasonable as expectations rose, sound quality was well balanced and the regular band stage area was a great place to have yourself resonated bodily by the bass and sub speakers. So far a top night, but I was worried.

The main stage area so many people were dancing on was normally reserved for the big acts with multiple decks or instrument playing rock bands, why was the secluded DJ Booth in the corner the only area ready for performance?
Wait till 1:00 A.M, the night having started at aroun 10:00PM, a bit long but if they all had to travel it would be worth it, right?
Now I am in my day job a normal bar-plodding cocktail maker, so what I was thinking was; “I’ve spent £15 on what was essentially local D.J’s so far. I can get the same elsewhere for a fiver or less, don’t let me down, Freestylers!”
1:00 AM passes, and I’ve drunk a little much, a further 40 minutes pass before we findout he’s snuck into the booth to begin his set!
Was a I let down? Monumentally. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great DnB Set (good D.J’ing and solid sound quality throughout, et al) but it wasn’t a ‘Freestylers’ Gig.

It was a ‘Freestyler’ solo D.J Set.

I barely recognised a single track from their catalogue I knew, it was mostly the D.J’s own preferred picks, which is fair enough..
But
I wanted the Freestylers
I PAID to see the Freestylers.
There wasn’t even a decent M.C or front man, the D.J did his work in isolation, barely interacted with the crowd. It wasn’t a gig, we may as well have had the radio on a BBC ‘takeover’ set.

This is coming from a years long fan who would always speak up for them, but after this friday gone, I can’t allow myself to recommend them as a gig to see, what was advertised was misleading and Artists with better sense (Cough, Pendulum) say if they are D.Jing or performing as a band and how many of them are going to each performance.

Sorry guys, but where was the the forth-rightness, and honesty I expected from roots based DnB Heros?

5/10 and less than expected, good night, overpriced into disappointment.