Now what is wrong, Chris? (That’s the editor, moi) you don’t seem cheerful and twinkly. Well it’s 9.42 A.M and I am an evening/night person, having not slept, I have deigned to unveil a little observation of 2016 that has truly put the spirit of the grinch in me, metaphorically. 2016 has had some of the most intense pressurised xmas ‘prepping’ from everyone, from Subway to Co-op, and from T.V Christmas “specials” to the onslaught of people who think that wearing reindeer horns and christmas puddin’ sweaters as soon as december 1st arrives is an acceptable way to raise children and/or get drunk.
It’s not even taking more time in the calender to do it! All the early marketing pretty much matches the previous years, it’s JUST.. What? The INTENSITY I suppose. Saturation, end to end of chocolates and sparkly cards.
P.S We SEE you, chocolate companies, with uniform sextoy-looking chocolate shells that go inside BOTH the easter bunny foil AND the santa foil! Sorry, someone had to say it, yes even the sex toy thing. (Oh and those reindeer things that are patently sitting rabbits).
So where were we?
Oh yes, the Christmaspocalypse, with adherents of the doomsday of tinsel proclaiming their loyalty by wearing kitschy tops and putting on christmas pop music. It’s the same cheer-leaders as those who organise office parties and WANT to, trying to ‘manufacture’ a ‘fun-time’ with props. The same quartz brained automatons whose only close friends are the spineless or brainless colleagues of their current/past place of work. All that is needed is the right amount of alcohol and the karaoke shall not waver, regardless of who is listening, or where they are.
The presumption of these are massive: Placing worse than average music that is feared by any right-thinking folk, and ruining a reasonable chilled or fun night for others by replacing what is known as ambience for what is known as poorly timed advertising.
Oh, the HORROR! Btw I mean horror, think of it;
In no other time in the english calender are we subject to such a god-awful (sorry, god, I know this is to be a time for your/you’re son and all, but Cliff Richard is getting more air time on t.v) -array of cliched, saccharin and insipid tunes designed to induce nostalgia for a season that too few of us have experienced.
It’s nearest contender is the Eurovision song contest and that is Less than a week.
It’s the ultimate muzac, the lullaby for “let’s be nice and not make waves, let’s pretend that our home lives are filled with love, with a fireplace inside and snow outside and we can all afford the nice presents, just like in that nice advert or old music video.”
It’s either that or the endless rehashes of mechanically made charity pop tunes that were first made in the eighties that, for some reason, noone seems to be able to leave alone. It’s like a good-will hunting form of necrophilia.
I almost balk at the idea of the modern sheaf of pop starlets and stars creating anything with artistic integrity that could match an actual song, with things like emotive tunes and song progression, but then I am an old fogey, I like my music to effect me. This said, I half-consider to myself what it might be like? For some talented something to create a NEW, understated christmas song. It would inevitably get pidgeon-holed by reason of it’s elemental nature, and most likely be kind of annoying.
But you know what? If it kills our obsession with “feed the world” and it’s post colonial condescension and lack of cultural understanding, go for it!!
Let’s break with the fakemas Reverie and wait for the winter season to call us to our loved ones, let’s get to what we know in winter, and be grateful.
I wish you a very non-cliched christmas, filled with genuine people loving genuine music.