Maintenance and the Zen of Fixing Doohickies

If one were to suppose the emotional state and wonderings of those around you, one would come a-cropper pretty darn quick. We morph and wane and wax mind and emotion becoming all possible expressions of our unique selfness. Many go through estranged years not even knowing or being able to relate to their emotional state as it lies. Laying fallow, like some strange field awaiting the long delayed sunrise to invite the cycles to move, and crops and beasts to grow. These times find us when we are at our lonest, most bleak. We find solace in distraction and surface interactions, seeking a laugh or a thrill to hide from the indignant bruise, the shadow in hearts. Always though, we look onward at any star,hoping for a dawn, any gleam to remind us our sleeping despairs can break into hope. To repay homage to a future once believed in.
If you find yourself in such a quandry, such a rut and ditch. Understand your spirit is being tested, but you needn’t do this alone, professionals and volunteers are in this world to help you, and feel that capacity to reach out. Your hands can sometimes be all you need to change your destiny should you choose, I will be adding numbers of advice pages and call lines for UK and US services and charities literally there to LISTEN and SEE you THROUGH this long dark night of the soul. I implore you to relax your defenses and know; A king alone in his castle is a king who cannot prosper, be cautious, but let someone in.

With respects.


The Death of Disinfo and the Birth of more Weirdness.

If you had any attraction for the weird and mysterious in the nineties and beyond, then Disinfo had something for you, being a surrogate American twin to the now gone Bizarre magazine. It was a T.V show that featured a side-show appeal, dispersed with a few strange threads that a curious observer could look into. Strange books and stranger lives to study. With lots of deviant sexual antics, if not depicted, then described. No part of culture was too grubby for it’s analysis, the human cost of pornography, the future of transgenderism and the ideologies of iconoclast performance artists across the decades. However, across the attempt to bridge to modern cyber culture, Disinformation has become a defunct label, a felled bastion of counter-culture and lucid exploration of cognition and reality.

If you cared even a little for weird americana, psychedelics, stoner rock and the philosophy of deviants and reality changers, chaos magicians et al. Then Disinformation was a TROVE of podcasts, collected youtube videos and articles garnered from across the news and blog world to show you one thing. You’re wrong – you’re not wrong 😉
Open minded debate lit the door way to this understanding of both exoteric and purely artistic expressions. Reality and Art in symmetric symbiosis, fine minds and coarse contributed for the sake of keeping alive a culture within a culture.

It is not the only place for such communions, but it was a canary in the coal mine, the gas is getting unmanageable. (I may write a part two to this post)

A personal take.

I suppose it would be beholden of me to mark this event as both sad and, somewhat, a little fitting. In this framework of culture and counter-culture devolving through psychological warfare into headfuck Vs rival headfuck. The age of the anti-hero is truly coming into fruition, or so it seems. After more than a decade of being told every hero is a monster of some kind, every rise to power has a body count and every human is COMPLICIT in the sin of others evils’. We now find ourselves compass-less, and wondering what is right.
We have created and recreated the uprooting of culture (communal inheritance) through Rock’N’Roll, and it’s children. Can you hear an avalanche? To the point Noone even feels their soul, the essential inheritance not just from everyone and everything, but from ourselves as a reminder of what we are. Divine.
The brittle bed of contrary opinions and empty self-esteemed individuals surround the circling miasma of thoughtless and addicting media, feeding the emptiness, and not letting it be settled. Like a Hurricane cycling through hay, over and over.
I pray for the hurricane to be over, and for a stream of settling self-respect to come to these folks, but it takes life,and time, and as a gentleman of some experience, I must resort waiting and watching. Hoping this extremity of folks so beholden to the screen can break out of mere expressing themselves as an avatar, to knowing they are an avatar of greater potential.

Purposelessness, powerlessness and a general culture-fatigue has entered the bones of the western world. I think in the reflection provided by the internet’s mirror, we have been through a great self-analysis, resulting in a mid-cultural crisis. We see ourselves and our reliances as what they are, and have two competing opinions. One is that we must change to become a higher resourced and more eco friendly cultural model, the other is that we will never change and should worship the least of the monsters that hold power.

Forgive me if I do not bow to demagogues.

In fact, praise me. <- watch for irony! 😀

So what has Rock N Roll brought us, and what or whom brought Rock N Roll? It was a ideology of hedonistic self realisation, brought forward by both eccentrics and narcissists. Neither fitting the pattern of societal values or behaviours, and deciding on patterning society in their own light and image. There is, implicitly, an error to this equation. Eccentricity tends to come from some form of mental or emotional syndrome, narcissism is the straight up inability to consider outside perspectives that do not serve ones self image. This is the key to disaster, tunnel vision and madness with only madto compete with.

“I’m going off the rails on a crazy train”.

Then what next?

In a devolving presence of standards of what is, true, then what is right and NOW what is acceptable. We meet the shadow in the cupboard, the monster we feared as children, the failure of hope in ourselves humanly and collectively. It is this terror we must face together without animosity, but with respect. Perhaps the death of certain things is inevitable, but life, as the saying goes, Goes On.

‘More than Human’ – update.

If you have had any interaction with me for the last 7 months, it will be no surprise to you that I have been working on turning my hard invested work into a creative art project, in this case a game for social and imagination exploring & collaboration. Roleplaying games are a neutral canvas to allow all people to come together and play, without judgment or need for competetive hierarchy. The freedom this expressly includes in the fun it provides opens minds, lifts spirits and teaches us about things we seldom experience. I am a massive advocate for roleplaying games, and saying that it is the domain of only the geek is a massive disservice to the rest of the human race. Understand that the longer you spend in a campaign, the more likely you are to not only surprise your friends and make them laugh, or even cry, but yourself also, without fear or shame. There is a limitless sky to this game format, so long as the rules are settled and the guide is experienced enough, there is no reason that anyone could say that they would not have fun. Proselytisation aside, I have been including necessary additions to the Maze of Reverie Role Playing System. A Tabletop Roleplaying System devised by myself in reflection to the varied nuances I feel such a game should include. This said, I am thus convinced that not only should this game be a project base to build a community base on, but that I have full intention and resolution to build a Kickstarter project to  finalise the provision of support for all involved on this marvelous project. More news to come, stay tuned x


Big word, meaning educating, statements that unveil the mysteries. It does not mean necessarily in relation to the bigger schemes in life and universe, but in the inner workings of the micro, the work of men. I have been elucidating both myself and my immediate workmates and gamers with treat bits of information, and an increasingly expanded manual for a social gaming system in the style of Tabletop Role Playing.
While I have endeavoured to create an increasingly closed loop of consistent game logic that encompassed my precepts of how a game should be, these folks have shown incredible support and patience that is overwhelming, and I intend to reward in buckets.
The first round of game testing is to begin by the beginning of August, ‘More than Human’ is a name for a campaign that I have devised that is science fiction oriented, with many open questions and lots of deadly hazards. Our players will find themselves, bereft of memory, with only the narrative handed to them as the game progresses. They may have skill and aptitude, but no back story will prepare them for the creatures they will encounter. This world is as empty as it is busy, and our players will have to escape their first encounter before they can even remember who they are. Mnemonic Refugees take flight!

What’s this? Style change!?

Hey, look, brand-spanking-new content shazamming it’s way to your merry old eyeballs. Yeah, so I just changed the wordpress theme, so what? Well this:
This site has matured along with my outlooks on several presentations I have made over the years and I can heartily say, fuck it, I have a lot of stuff to engage in (I have ever been the multidisciplinarian) AND IT’S MY PREROGATIVE AS TO WHAT I POST ON THIS WEBSITE. I MAY AS WELL MAKE A HOME FOR IT AS I AM PAYING FOR THIS DIGITAL REAL ESTATE. All are welcome to visit, not everyone will be enchanted by my works, but by this I don’t  mind letting a few fishies go, after all I am not a greedy fisherman.

This said I feel that this Digital space has been woefully neglected and seriously under-capitalised on with what I could do with it. I could list off reasons, timing is a large part, you wouldn’t be too interested though & nor should you be!

In the accruing momentum I have been gaining, some awesome projects/ideas have popped up and I will be presenting them all here.

W.R.E.N.R.O.C.K is active.

Catch-calls & the useless facade of Racism.

Hello again, and again I go off-piste in an endeavour to churn out of my dark brooding a nugget of wisdom, or at least foreshadowing. To allow others to inform their perspective in the coming multicontextual tensions, to be played out at the geopolitical level, having been rooted at the grassroots level in each generation. Like legitimising Agent Orange after freely distributing knotweed in secret.

It feels as though the racist element of western society has been mobilised in the last ten years. Endeavouring to capitalise on the largely unverifiable engimas of Terrorist organisations. (Hey, dat N-word is waving a black flag, he be in with them!). The media of late have been leery of ascribing the terrorism tag to modern shootings and other events, understanding the zeitgeist is only accelerating with unverified labelling in emotionally charged times. One may presume that it is an intelligence decision to hold back the label from being slapped on every act of random violence, knowing people are getting wise to such tactics and negating the fear and tension meant to be distributed. With skepticism in the mass public, it is hard to believe something enough to be afraid of it. Such a conclusion may be unfounded, but it fits the facts as presented over the two decades since the WTC events, that were to set a tone for quite an era.

Understand, I set this as context, because I am beginning to believe that there are seasons in how our tensions are redirected constantly, at foreign neighbours, or our own adopted brothers and cousins, immigrants and refugees. I believe I had it clearly in my head twice now, just before sleeping. Until I set it to paper, I shall leave that though there.

Bland jokes and Catch-calls
In the world of Nationalist theatrics. There is a thin veil of acceptability that certain racist parties hide under, that makes for the guise of appropriateness. It is exploited among the less perceptive, and less confrontational peers these individuals keep as company (I falter to say “friends”). It is a way of flagging psychological preference and political undertones to find out, “radar” like, how accepting others are of their views.

“Catches your attention, but you can’t Call it out.”

The Catch-call is new a label for an old device, using timid jokes with little humourous content, to test others for their receptivity. It is akin to people who like to use demeaning humour to the opposite gender to find those willing to put up with their bigotry, and potentially, abuse. It is done in such a way that it makes no sense as a joke, and can’t offend in any SPECIFIC way and can’t be called out in it’s instances as being offensive. It will repeat though, creating a clowning routine of barely constructed racial slurs and imagery. This clowning around creates a backdrop of racially motivated interactions or passivity to the said agent of idiocy, placated only by the apparent foolishness of the blurted half-jokes. It is very cynical, and quite a dangerous tide to idle in. As it is almost always a Segue to more in depth conversation (read, indirect fear-mongering) that will be put to out to sway opinion among the more impressionable and open minded.
I hasten to add not all those who lack the intelligence to formulate a decent joke are automatically Catch-calling in this way. They will, however be attracted to these other, cynical individuals. Make no mistake, the more intelligent folk using this tactic will take time in manipulating the misguided souls to greater extremes, extracting greater bile and bitterness. More often than not, organising them before long.
It is a conduit of fear politicking in clear sight. I post this here in defiance. It is not a funny matter to needlessly racialise conversations, nor is it the right of any person to cast shadows of old political tensions, long since proven DEFUNCT, on the good times of decent people.
Allow me to say this, as a former aficionado of conspiracy culture and news, I never CONCEALED my bias. This leads me to think such people know what they are wanting to say and do is actually WRONG. It is a sign of weakness and I hope they understand this in time. I have been known to make the odd inappropriate joke, but in that I ensured that I was in company that knew me as being for the opposite of the scandalising humour I had used.

To be augmented.